On "Universal Grammar" and Living With Guys (eye roll)

There's a pen in my toilet. Sitting there. Catching the TP and keeping it from going down.

Anne came over this afternoon, and she needed to use the toilet, so I was trying to figure out what to do. I got a stick and moved the toilet paper out of the way, but I couldn't get the pen out.

My housemate Yves walked by, asked what was going on. Poor, innocent guy. Anne and I began to giggle furiously.
"Okay... I'll just leave you, then..."
"No, Yves, help me?" I asked.
"Okay... What's up..."
"There's a pen in the toilet-" giggle Giggle giggle.
"Oh my God..." says Yves in disbelief. "Why'd you put a pen in the toilet?"
"IIII didn't put it in there!" more laughter.
"Look at our pants!" said Anne. "We can't fit a pen in our pocket!"
"Yes. And since there are only three girls in this house, and seven guys..." I continued.
"Okay, okay, okay... and look, you mutated a young tree!" he said, referring to the branch in my hand.
"Yeah, I had no choice! There's a pen in the toilet!"
Just then, Maurits came downstairs. Yves said something to him in Dutch, and Anne and I giggled some more. Then Maurits went back upstairs, slightly pink and amused.

"Well, you should talk to the house elder... who is that?" said Yves. "Oh yeah! Justin!" and he pulled out his cell phone.

They talked in Dutch, but Anne translated: "He asked if Justin lost a pen. Justin said no, why, and Yves said he'll find out at dinner!" We giggled some more.

Well, the subject wasn't exactly addressed at dinner. But it came up.
Daan said, "Our meeting went till TWO today!"
Silence.
"...so?" asked Justin.
"Nothing. Just that it went till 2."
"Oh," said Justin. Pause. "I went to the toilet today."
"Oh?" said Jesse. "And?"
"That's all," finished Justin.
"OooOOooh," said Jesse. "You should write a book."
"Yes," said Yves, who was sitting next to me. "With paper... and a pen..."
We glanced at each other and cracked up.

But there's still a friggin' pen in the toilet. And I'M not pulling it out. I won't disgust you with details, but... I'M not pulling it out!

Last night I went to see the annual theater production. This year, it's a play called "Universal Grammar", written by my my psycholinguistics professor, Sergey Avrutin:

Universal Grammar is a political satire which follows a day in the lives of a by origin Russian, by nationality New Zeelandian couple living in Maastricht. They are both academics, Masha, the wife, teaches drama theory while Ivan, the husband, teaches linguistics at the university. On this special day however, they do not only teach; the world is swirling around them. The live broadcast of the bombing campaign against Switzerland is at the same time as the badminton final [Liechtenstein vs. Uzbekistan]. Life is about choices, many may say, but it all becomes even more twisted when an old professor friend announces his or her visit. He or she is on her or his way to study a butcher house in Denmark to see how cows can be executed for the purpose of human consumption in a dignified manner, dragging his or her French wife with her or him. And yes, the French woman is on stage: champagne, little black dress and all the rest... America is bombing again (this time Switzerland), the badminton final in the air and in the evening there is another accession party... after Cameroon, China is joining the EU. Bienvenue and au revoir...

So there you have it. Oh, how funny it was! Not only because it starred people such as my English professor as "the representative from Germany", but for many other reasons! There was a Footnote Reader and a Translator who were always fighting. The Footnote Reader was American, and in the beginning, Ivan asks him where he's from. There is a long exchange about where is he from in the U.S. "Oh, Kentucky? You live next to McDonald's?!? So do I!! Oh, do you know Robert, from the U.S?" And it ended with Ivan saying to the Footnote Reader, "I live in Maastricht. Do you know Maastricht?" The Footnote Reader stares, apparently deep in confused thought, and slowly raises his gaze to the ceiling, until Ivan says, "Okay, never mind." The Ascension party was also hilarious, and of particular interest as my friend Eva played the Chinese representative. Professor van Werven was hilarious in his role as "Deutschland", complete with giant name tag hanging around his neck and pants tucked into military boots. In addition, there were several linguistic jokes, including the linguistic friend who insists that gender should not be indicated in language because eit is discriminatory, so you must always say "he or she, her or him," and alternate which gender comes first.

I was very happy, and very glad I went to the four-hour event, about which I had had my doubts. It would be very nice if I could get a DVD of it, as it was really enjoyable.

Also, on the first page of the program was the following email, enough to make my friend Jeanine (who is very jealous that I met George Lakoff over break) and I squeal:

----- Original Message -----
From: Noam Chomsky
To: Sergey Avrutin
Sent: Saturday, December 23, 2006 6:25 AM
Subject: Re: theatre play Universal Grammar -- opening night

"Very glad to hear that the play will soon be performed. Ton of mail still to answer tonight, so will have to put off the site. Interested to hear about Roosevelt Academy and Study Center. Right now, as usual, scheduled to the hilt far ahead, but perhaps one of these days."
Noam

!!!!!!